Don’t run
From fear
Not many people say what they are proud of in themselves. So we hide and try to minimise our achievements, try to be humble and never boast.
Well, I want to change that, at least a little.
One thing I’m proud of is that even if I am scared (which is all the time), I still do the scary stuff.
And it doesn’t need to be a huge event.
Last week I had what seemed to be a trivial situation, but it turned out to be a proud moment.
During a Zoom call, it was my turn to speak and ask questions in front of dozens of people. Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared, and when I started talking, anxiety kicked in.
Adrenaline started pumping through my veins, my heart beating faster and my voice breaking.
It was horrible.
After the call finished, I felt defeated and angry at myself for losing my cool in this seemingly harmless situation.
Why am I like this?
It was so embarrassing.
I stewed about it the whole afternoon but remembered the call was recorded…
A part of me wanted to forget and move on. It happened; I embarrassed myself in front of strangers, and it was time to focus on the future. The past happened, and I can’t change it.
But!
There is that part of me that, after the initial emotional stress passed, wants to analyse what happened, learn from it and get better. Be better.
I also remembered a lesson from a couple of weeks ago - They don’t see how you feel.
So I had a choice - look at the video, watch myself and go through the agony again or run away and never see or think about it again.
I chose to see it, and I did. And…it didn’t seem like I was stressed or anxious or anything at all!
I looked like I was speaking and asking questions like a regular person.
What?
That’s impossible.
After I watched it again, I spotted a tiny change in my voice, but when I played it to Paulina, she said, “Yeah, you look and sound normal.”
The weight fell off my shoulders. The fact that other people don’t see how we feel inside is true, but I was also proud that I returned and decided to watch the video, which turned the whole situation into a good moment for me. A proud moment.
And a valuable lesson.
The fear is often imagined and exaggerated in our heads; in reality, it’s not that bad.
PODCAST PRODUCER LATEST
Another week!
At one point, we held three top spots in Australia on Spotify for Casefile, Frankston Murders, and Crime Interrupted S2.
I have finished preparing music for another Casefile Presents show and will start my work on the episodes this week.
We are also working on another one and are nearly halfway through with the mixes. And I’m still sketching musical ideas for another show! It’s all happening.
Last week I finished a fantastic two-parter for Casefile - one of the most complicated cases we have done in a long time. These will be out in a few weeks. And they are long, too; the story is nearly 3 hours long.
YOUTUBE
I recorded a few new videos and shorts last weekend, and we still have lots on the backlog. We are transitioning to a new direction for the channel but will still be releasing technical videos occasionally.
LEARNING
A little late, but I submitted the first draft of the essay! I’m still below the required word count, but I should be able to finish it this week.
I’m also nearly finished with the next assignment due in a month, so I have time to polish it over the next few weeks.
BOOKS
Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson. I have completed the book. It was so emotional I nearly cried (nearly). The next one will be released in November 2024! It is a bit of a wait, but I have a few books and a few other Sando novels on the list.
Free by Lea Ypi. It’s a book for this month’s club selection. I read it over the weekend, and it tells the author's story of growing up in communist Albania. The fall of the system and what came after. It’s a well-written book, and it brings back a lot of memories. Either from my childhood or stories that my parents and grandparents told me. I can’t believe some people still defend that system (and want to return to it!)
FUN
Interview with the vampire. Anne Rice (R.I.P.) and her Vampire Chronicles were my favourite books during my youth. I also loved the movie with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. So when A.M.C. announced a series produced by the Rice family, I couldn’t be more excited. Then came news that the story would be retold and reset in a new environment; I was curious how it would work.
Well, in Season 1, seven episodes are available to watch, and it’s fantastic.
The new take on the story is very clever, and the characters are as engaging as ever, even though they are not exactly portrayed as in my favourite book. I highly recommend it to any true vampire fans (I’m not counting Twilight or any other teenage rubbish).
That's it for now. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you (hopefully!) next week!
Mike
https://mikemigas.com/
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